sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
