I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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