Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
