so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
