Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
