I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
