If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
