I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
