Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
