I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
