Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
