so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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