Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
