She's JV to your varsity
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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