oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
