I wanna passion pit in your ass
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
