i need an iv and a liver transplant
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Randomize