I want to stick my p in your. b.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
