Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
