i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
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