Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
