he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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