We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
