You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
