I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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