Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
