Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
