so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
