I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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