3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
