Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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