I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
