did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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