i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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