Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
