i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
