I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
