He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
