can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
The beers last night were like the tears from god
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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