When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
