my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
