What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Randomize
