We won't sleep together?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
