OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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