You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
