first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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