I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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