Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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