# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I bet he comes in French.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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