yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
